3.2 - Giving and Receiving Feedback

A Note on the Writing Process

I want to make clear here that it’s incredibly rare for an outstanding essay to not have gone through at least 5 drafts. I’ve seen it maybe twice out of several thousand essays. I mention this because I want you to think of writing as a process. Your goal with early drafts is to have them give you a clear sense of where to head next.

Regarding revision and other tools for writing, there’s a lot more I offer in my online courses, which are pay-what-you-can for students and high school counselors. So if you’re feeling unsure of how to proceed, please dive into those resources.

How to Give Feedback

Think about a time when you had a really cool idea and you shared it with someone and that person said, “That’s a stupid idea” or something similar. You probably felt defeated, sad, and like you should probably never share your ideas with that person—and maybe anyone—ever again.

Keep in mind that when an idea is new it’s very fragile. And that’s what your partner is bringing to you when they’re discussing their topics: brand new, baby ideas.

So tread lightly.

I’ll split giving feedback into two basic sections: topics/outlining, and drafting.

If you’re working with a partner who is still trying to pick a topic or outline, here are some ways you can help:

1. Mostly just listen. Imagine that you’re interviewing them. You should do 10% of the talking and let them do 90%. So if you have a ten minute conversation, you’re only talking for one minute. How can you make this happen...

2. Ask lots of questions. Here are some good, simple questions to ask: 

• What topics are you deciding between?

• What do you like about each one?

Open-ended questions are great too:

• Why?

• Can you say more about that?

Simple, right? Then listen some more. 

Your job isn’t to figure out your partner’s topic for them; your job is to help them figure out their own topic.

Don’t forget about the work you’ve already done in the workshop.

If, for example, your partner has experienced challenges...

3. Use the Feelings and Needs Exercise from Lesson 2.1. Try asking your partner to walk you through one of the experiences that came up during the exercise. Here’s how to do that. If they can clearly articulate a.) what the challenge was, b.) what they did about it, and c.) what they learned, tell your partner, “It sounds like a good topic—go for it.”

If your partner has NOT experienced challenges...

4. Use the Montage Exercise from Lesson 2.4. Ask your partner: 

• What are four or five qualities you definitely want to communicate to the admissions officer?

• What are some threads you could use to connect all these qualities? 

• Here’s a 90-second video with tips on how to help you make sure your essay isn’t boring.

Here are some other questions you might have:

• Should I Talk About Religion in My College Essay?

• Does it Matter Which Common App Prompt I Choose?

• What if I’m Worried that My Essay Will Sound Like a Sob Story?

If you’ve tried all these and you or your partner is still totally clueless on their topic, here is a list of 100 Brave and Interesting Questions. Try these. See where they lead.

If you’re working with a partner who is working through a draft, here are some ways you can help:

Here’s a way I conceptualize the writing process:

1. Content (the what)

2. Structure (the how)

3. The Details (smaller concerns)

Consider that, on a first draft, a student is probably still figuring out their content (i.e., what is my personal statement going to be about?). 

• If it’s a narrative essay, I’m asking myself: Are the challenges clear and compelling (i.e., do we care?)? 

• If it’s a montage: Is the topic elastic (“stretchy”) enough to help the student demonstrate a wide range of skills/qualities/values that they’ll bring to a college campus? 

• Overall (no matter the structure): Am I learning a lot about the student? Do I like them and want to hang out with them?

On a First Draft

Don’t touch the grammar. Unless their first draft is incredible, don’t even mention it, especially not on a first read. Why? Because we aren’t there yet! See above. 

Don’t proofread either. Basically, I’m advising zero word choice or tiny detail edits—as difficult as that may be! Why? Beyond it not being useful, I think it can actually be detrimental, since it sends the message that the content (the what) and structure (the how) are already working … and now, we’re onto the finer points. Chances are, though, if the content and structure aren’t working (as they often aren’t in an early draft), then a lot is going to change, and if a student has spent some time fussing over grammar/proofread edits, it might be harder to get them to make big revisions if/when the time comes. (See sunk cost effect.)

On the first draft (and, for many students, the second, third …), just focus on content and structure—you’ll save yourself, and them, a ton of time.

You can use these simple checklists to offer clear feedback:

For narrative

Does my narrative outline/essay

1. Make clear what my challenges are?

2. Make clear what the effects of the challenges were on me?

3. Make clear what I did to overcome my challenges?

4. Make clear what I learned through these experiences?

For montage

Does my montage outline/essay

1. Make clear what my topic/thematic thread is?

2. Set up specific examples for each paragraph that clearly link to my clear topic/thematic thread?

3. Set up what values I’ll show through those specific examples?

4. Offer possible insights that answer “so what” in regard to my experiences and values?

In the vast majority of cases, especially with early drafts, these are the issues students run into, and giving them quick, clear feedback on these questions will set them up better for their next draft.

In Case of Emergency

Oh, and if you’re *super* stressed and deadlines are looming, here’s the “break-in-case-of-emergency” resource: 

• How to Write Your College Essay in One Night 

But try everything else first.

Remember: you don’t need a perfect topic right now, you just need a good one to get started. 

So pick something and get started. 

What to Check for in Almost Final Drafts

Are you offering feedback to someone who may be close to done? Check out the next lesson, The Great College Essay Test.