module content

This is the part where I ask you to let go of your first draft.

Wait, what!?

I know, I know, you spent all that time working on it ... Isn't that now all just wasted time?

Actually, no.

That first draft helped you come up with 1-2 decent examples. It also helped you figure out if your topic could work.

But I want to sincerely ask you to let go of what you wrote before and instead get to work on:

Creating Outline 2.0

Why create a new outline instead of working from the old draft? Because it's going to help you write a better essay in less time.

How do I know? Every year, I see students hold on to their first draft—and the longer they hold on, the longer it takes for their essay to evolve.

Sacrifice the essay of yesterday to the essay of tomorrow.

Consider that the whole purpose of your first draft, plus the new brainstorming you've done in the last few lessons, was to help you discover your new outline.

So how do you create your Outline 2.0? It starts simply enough: Create a bullet-pointed list of your (now more detailed!) examples and the (now more uncommon!) values you want to show.

Important: Don't look at your old outline when you do this. Instead, create Outline 2.0 from memory. Then you can compare. Why do this? Your brain is more likely to make new connections if it isn't being bombarded with old ideas. This is not science; it's what lots of writing and rewriting has taught me.

Maybe your Outline 1.0 for your boxing essay was something like this:

• Determination → working out a lot in the gym

• Discipline → learning to keep going even though I wanted to give up

• Balance → I had to learn to still keep up with my academics

• Friendship → I grew close with other boxers

• Perseverance → Wait, that's kind of like "determination" OMG this is haaaard

But you realized a lot of those were somewhat common connections.

So you thought about it for a little while ...

And your Outline 2.0 looks like this:

• Humor → Story about unleashing a right hook on a speed bag and spraining my wrist

• Determination → Over time I've gotten used to taking punches/failing (can maybe connect to something else)

• Experimentation + Intellectual vitality → I knew I was never going to compete as a boxer; for me it was learning for the sake of learning (can connect to physics, Latin)

• Quick thinking → repeated feedback loop (can connect to debate)

• Patience → one good punch is better than 20 small ones (can connect to joke-telling/emceeing)

Uplevel Technique: Smuggling in Other Parts of Yourself

Note how this author also made connections within his paragraphs to other areas of his life. You can do this too.

This is actually a pretty great way to increase the range of values in your personal statement (which helps you show more sides of yourself) and adds variety (which makes the essay more interesting).

Here's another example paragraph that demonstrates this smuggling technique in an essay with a fitting topic: Pirates!

Now, at the age of seventeen, I regard myself as the modern Captain Kidd. Although I don't embody the "pillage and burn" side of the Pirate life, the way I have embraced an adventurous lifestyle has compelled me to explore any activity, concept, or subject that attracts my attention. Historical accounts of pirates tell of hunts for treasure and booty—an insatiable thirst for gold—but while Pirates scoured the world for money, I long for knowledge. Where Sir Francis Drake sought to conquer Spanish treasure ships, I conquered the realm of musicianship teaching myself guitar and piano. Captain Henry Avery searched for the perfect congregation of Pirates to create a republic of misfits; I did the same as I helmed the mental health club to help those at my high school in need. The image of Captain Kidd researching the metaphysical explanation of the ten dimensions may be strange, but to me, it is a perfect representation of the pirate spirit.

How do you do this? As you're listing the new values for your Outline 2.0, ask yourself: What other parts of me could I show in this paragraph? Where else does this value manifest in my life? Then smuggle in a quick example. The "Boxing" essay does this nicely, if you want an example, or you can read the rest of the "Pirate" essay, if you haven't already.

Time to start!