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“I want them to think I’m, like, … deep.”

I hear you. I also want them (ah, the mysterious and powerful “them”) to think I’m, like, deep.

But more importantly, I want them to think you’re deep.

Because I think one of the most important ways you can show a college you’re ready for what it offers is to demonstrate your ability to reflect. So … what exactly does that mean?

What Exactly is … Insight?

One of the clearest ways to explore insight is to reflect (and write) about how something connects to and influences or reframes your values.

You can think of reflection in terms of changing frames—show that you’ve worked on your ability to zoom in and out on your experiences to understand the meaning you’ve built around them.

What are the lessons your experiences have taught you? What are the connections you’ve made? Why do these things matter to you?

So, first, be sure it’s clear what values you’re developing or expressing in your paragraphs.

To practice that, try this …

1-Minute Game to Help You Learn How to Spot Values (Don’t Skip This)

EXERCISE: Recognize and name the value.

Read through the following sample essay paragraph. Then, name the value(s) you see.

Read this paragraph from the “Animals” essay:

Nothing teaches patience like trying to catch 22 rogue quail in your backyard. I incubated 32 quail eggs and every day I dedicated my afternoons to watching the eggs, checking the water levels, and making sure the temperature was okay. In the days leading up to the expected hatch date, I sat there, face centimeters away from the glass, talking to them and waiting for any signs of movement. Once they did hatch, taking care of them wasn't easy and I had to learn a lot about how they acted. I have taken these traits of patience and adaptability into other areas of my life. For example, in crew, creating the ideal "set" in a boat takes eight people working in perfect unison and this is rarely the case. Learning how to love crew for what it is took time.

What values did you see?

See how many you can spot. 

Once you’ve done that … 

Here’s a slightly harder one.

Read this paragraph from the “Home” essay:

Styled in a t-shirt, shorts, and a worn, dark green lanyard, I sprint across the quad from the elective 'Speaking Arabic through the Rassias Method' to 'Knitting Nirvana'. This afternoon is just one of many at Governor's School East, where I have been transformed from a high school student into a philosopher, a thinker, and an avid learner. While I attend GS at Meredith College for Natural Science, the lessons learned and experiences gained extend far beyond physics concepts, serial dilutions, and toxicity. I learn to trust myself to have difficult yet necessary conversations about the political and economic climate. Governor's School breeds a culture of inclusivity and multidimensionality, and I am transformed from "girl who is hardworking" or "science girl" to someone who indulges in the sciences, debates about psychology and the economy, and loves to swing and salsa dance. As I form a slip knot and cast on, I'm at home.

A quick note on writing technique: Notice that these authors both show and tell, rather than “show, don’t tell.” But they use examples and detail to show before telling. As a general guideline, I’d recommend both showing and telling in a college essay, to demonstrate craft, but then to also guarantee clarity.

In case you were curious, here are some of the values from the two excerpts above (and you may have spotted others): 

• Animals: 

  • Patience

  • Dedication

  • Adaptability

  • Meticulousness

  • Teamwork

• Home: 

  • Curiosity/exploration

  • Growth

  • Engagement

  • Inclusivity

  • Knowledge

Once you’ve clearly expressed values in your paragraphs (and you’re clear on what values you’re expressing), there are some different things you can do with those values to demonstrate insight through reflection ...

10 Ways to Add Insight to Your Personal Statement

1. Try to think of the opposite.

How it works: Opposite of what? The opposite of whatever you were initially thinking of as a potential insight—this can be a way to avoid more common or cliché reflection. Here’s a fun, quick exercise: Take any of the values and ask yourself if the opposite might have been (or might currently be) true for you. 

Examples: 

• Instead of saying, “I learned that my body is capable of more than I’d originally thought,” maybe you learned that you’d been pushing your body too hard and you actually needed more rest than you knew. 

  • Notice how this focuses on a new value: rest or self-care.

• Instead of saying, “I learned that clarity and decisiveness were key,” maybe you discovered that sometimes it’s valuable to sit for a while with ambiguity and not having the answer.

2. Try shifting from one value to another. 

How it works: Maybe you start talking about one value … but by the end of the sentence, you’re talking about another one. Here are a couple examples to show you what I mean: 

• Security → Adventure: I learned that, in my desire to keep things stable, I’d actually been playing it a little safe and what I needed in my life was a little more adventure.

• Honesty → Kindness: I learned that, in some cases, being completely honest isn’t always useful—or kind—and that timing and tone are key.

3. Redefine a value.

How it works: Pick one of the values and define it in an uncommon way. For example:

• I realized “community” was more than the people whose names I knew—it was the bus driver I’d say hello to each morning, the street cleaner I’d never met, even my neighbors’ pets were part of my extended community.

• I realized that “leadership” didn’t really mean simply seeing what  I thought was the best course of action for people to take and pushing them to take it; instead, real leadership involved making myself obsolete—creating space for people to step into and helping and lifting up those I was leading until they no longer needed me. 

This approach to insight/reflection can be nice because it necessitates getting into some nuance. As a quick exercise to explore this approach:

• Pick a couple of the values that you’re demonstrating in your body paragraphs.

• Think of more common/cliché definitions for these values.

• Don’t use those.

• Experiment with defining those values in ways that get into nuances people seem to often overlook.

  • Another way to think of this: People often make broad/grand statements about values. Those broad/grand statements will often contain kernels of truth, but will also be wrong in that they are simplistic and overlook things. What are they missing?

4. Connect to something we totally didn’t expect (but just briefly).

How it works: Link the experience or detail you’re discussing to something that it has a justified connection to, but that we (your audience) probably weren’t thinking you were going to bring up.

Read this excerpt from the “Boxing” essay:

In boxing, patience is everything; one well-placed uppercut is worth 20 small jabs. And this idea, to avoid the low-hanging fruit in favor of a better opportunity, has guided how I approach emceeing. 

Why this example works: Here, the author does a nice job of taking a value (patience), showing how it’s valuable within the context of boxing itself (“avoid the low-hanging fruit in favor of a better opportunity”), and then connects it to how that understanding is valuable in an area we weren’t expecting, demonstrating a capacity for reflection and application.

5. Turn a specific example into a representative example (i.e., zoom out). 

How it works: Pretty much how it sounds—zoom out a bit in focus to link a specific example or detail to something it’s representative of.

For example: “Over time, I’ve come to see that throwing pottery symbolizes how a desire for efficiency can get in the way of quality or mastery.”

Another example, from the “Food” essay: 

In the time since, I’ve realized Gefilte fish is more than just the unfamiliar food tucked away in my great-grandma’s fridge, it represents the opportunities that arise from trying new things.

6. Teach us to see something simple in a new way. (or) Show us how something seemingly simple … actually isn’t.

How it works: This can be a nice technique for taking something that may be common or seemingly mundane and adding complexity and value to it (and, thereby, to your essay) by showing how it has some hidden depth.

For example: “While for some people jeans may just be a reliable pair of pants, for me, knowing their history, they represent fashion’s ability to speak about class in America.”

Another example, from the “Food” essay:

And when I cook, I transform a part of raw Earth into raw culture. Preparing steak enables me to remember my great-grandfather, while eating it reminds me of its destruction to the environment.  This is how I understand the world—I cook to discover myself; I eat to learn about the world around me.

Why this example works: This short paragraph offers a nice example of how you can take a common and seemingly simple thing like cooking and layer in complexity through the values you connect it to. Uncommon language like “I transform a part of raw Earth into raw culture” offers a more interesting way of seeing something that could otherwise be viewed as mundane, and “I cook to discover myself; I eat to learn about the world around me” demonstrates the hidden complexity of the example (and, thereby, the author).

Alternate, related version of this method: Show us how something that might be judged as shallow isn’t maybe as shallow as we think.

Check out this excerpt from the “Laptop Stickers” essay: 

‘Lol ur not Harry Styles,’ upper left corner. Bought in seventh grade and transferred from my old laptop, this sticker is torn but persevering with layers of tape. Despite conveying my fangirl-y infatuation with Harry Styles' boyband, One Direction, for me Styles embodies an artist-activist who uses his privilege for the betterment of society. As a $42K donor to the Time's Up Legal Defense Fund, a hair donor to the Little Princess Trust, and promoter of LGBTQ+ equality, he has motivated me to be a more public activist instead of internalizing my beliefs. (emphasis mine)

Why this example works: The author takes something that it would likely be easy for an audience to judge as shallow/superficial (One Direction/pop music/Harry Styles) and shows through what she connects it to in the latter half of the paragraph that, if we judged it (and her) upon first reading, we were being too hasty. She makes the insight clear by including another sentence that suggests a way that reflection has led to change in her actions—see “realizing you were wrong” below.

Here’s another example, from the “Makeup” essay:

I sorted through each hardened face powder and discolored lotion, remembering what had excited me about the product and how I'd used it. Examining these mementos led me to a surprising realization: yes, I had been a superficial girl obsessed with clear and flawless skin.

But there was something more too.

My makeup had given me confidence and comfort, and that was okay. I am glad I didn't abandon the superficial me, but instead acknowledged her, and stood by her to take her on an enlightening and rewarding journey. Cosmetics led me to dig deeper into scientific inquiry, helped me develop an impassioned voice, and became a tool to connect me with others. Together, I've learned that the beauty of a meaningful journey lies in getting lost for it was in the meandering that I found myself.

7. Realize you were wrong about something.

How it works: Just like it sounds. Set up a misconception you had, then show us how you’ve grown and insights you’ve gained through discussing your new understanding.

For example: “I realized that in searching for others’ approval, I had given away my autonomy, and that if I wanted to live a truly free life, I had to respect other people’s right to an opinion, but not live by them.”

Here’s another example, from the “Weight Room” essay: 

Or maybe the dismissal I sensed was founded in my insecurities and the fact that I myself didn't feel as if I deserved to belong. I walked in expecting a warm welcome and was unsettled when I didn't receive even the simplest acknowledgement, validating my doubts. I've since realized that entering a room of strangers focused on keeping up with their rigorous exercises was not the place to expect a rousing reception. I acknowledge the perils of first impressions.

Why this example works: What’s nice about this approach, as shown in the example above, is that discussing a time when you had a misconception/misunderstanding about something and then walking through how you realized you were wrong, and what you now believe/value/do instead, inherently shows growth and insight—the author’s journey above, though told briefly, demonstrates growth in character and individuality.

8. Embody paradox (aka show how seemingly opposing truths live within you).

How it works: Show us how two seemingly contradictory things are both true in some way, and how both add value to how you live your life.

Check out this example from “This Is Me”: 

I am Catholic. Sunday mornings always spent at church. The private Catholic middle and high schools each with masses for special occasions. Baptism, Eucharist, and Confirmation. Praying before each meal and saying, "Go away in the name of Jesus" to nighttime horrors. Theology classes and realizing there is so much more to religion than faith. Having something to believe in. Questioning what you believe in. Turning to God when I see the horrors in the world and getting no response.

Re-read those final sentences: “Having something to believe in. Questioning what you believe in.” Both things can be valuable for the author, right?  

Danish physicist Niels Bohr once said, “The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.”

Re-read that last sentence. It’s kinda’ deep.

And we’re not talking about liking spaghetti vs. not liking spaghetti. We’re talking about profound truths. Or—to maybe be more precise—profound and complex meanings.

College essay tip: You can bring depth and insight into your essay by showing (or suggesting) how two seemingly opposing truths create meaning for you.

9. Find/use a phrase that has a double-meaning. 

How it works: Use phrasing (or find phrasing already in your essay) that can mean one thing the first time you talk about it, but has potential for other meanings and wider symbolism. And then write it so that the second time you talk about it … it conveys a different, more complex meaning.

For example, in an essay about gardening, discuss planting and tending to seedlings (literally), and then later, talk about planting a seed (metaphorically).

Another example from the “Food” essay (can you tell I like that one?): 

Three days a week, my great-grandfather Pop brought home ribs. After dinner, he'd go around the table inspecting each plate, making sure each rib was stripped down to the bone. If he found one morsel, you couldn't be excused. Pop believed that, before you could leave the table, you had to finish your ribs.

This lesson has stuck with me. Whether I'm staying up until two in the morning to figure out the Radius of Convergence of a Power Series or identifying solutions to countless concerns issued by my school district, I strive to finish my ribs. 

And notice the final line from the same essay: “I’m hungry…”

Why these examples work: Both of these examples take language that has a capacity for symbolic meaning and use it to show insight. First, the author plants the seeds for this symbolic meaning by using that language in a literal sense, but then subsequently uses it again in a new context that, in recalling the original use of phrasing to a reader’s mind, subtly points toward a symbolic meaning. (Note: This approach can show a high level of craft, but because of that, it tends to require a lot of revision to get it right.)

10. Drop in a surprise connection to your career.

I love it when students do this well (but also: Don’t feel like you need to). Quick example from “My Desk” (see if you can spot the moment): 

My trustworthy, five-year old laptop sits in the center of the desk. From accompanying me on my ventures to track Null Pointer Errors in my apps to playing classic Billy Joel after a rough day, my laptop is my first-choice vehicle as I drive through a life of curiosity. Whether executing my simulations of stress-analysis tests, teaching me how to make an origami lily, or showing me a TED talk on why people find it difficult to poop away from home, my laptop has allowed me to find different versions of myself. Though I will probably call myself an engineer someday, my heart is in so many different places. I'm a philosopher, a historian, an economist, a black belt in TaeKwonDo, a tech-y, a farmer, a teacher, an inventor, an entrepreneur, a TED-talk lover, and a sports enthusiast. With each Google search, a new world opens.

Why this example works: Notice the author is talking about one thing and then segues to, “Oh and by the way, I’m thinking of studying this,” which is pretty useful for a college admission reader to know—and also probably sets up the author’s “Why us?” essay. But two important things: If you do this, try to keep it subtle; and probably don’t try to stretch your writing to include this if it doesn’t naturally fit.

[action_item]

Action Item: Spend some time identifying the different values you’re demonstrating in your body paragraphs. Then, try using some of the above techniques to strengthen the insights related to those values in your essay.