module content

I mentioned earlier that the three things you need for a great montage essay paragraph are a) great examples, b) values to connect to your examples, and c) great insights. This lesson will focus on how to improve your examples, while Montage Lesson 3.5 will show you how to make your essay more insightful. Both will help you create a stand-out personal statement.

How to Uplevel Your Paragraphs by Generating Uncommon Connections

Pop quiz: What's wrong with the following one-sentence essay summary?

I want to be a doctor because I'm empathetic, I love helping people, and I really want to make the world a better place.

Actually, there's nothing wrong with it. It would probably lead to a pretty clear essay.

But here's the thing: The admission officer has probably read this essay before. Why? Because it demonstrates the three qualities of a boring personal statement.

A boring personal statement ...

1. Chooses a common topic

2. Makes common connections

3. Uses common language

Look again at that sentence above to see what I mean: "I want to be a doctor (common topic) because I'm empathetic, and I love helping people (common connections), and I really want to make the world a better place (common language)."

A stand-out personal statement, on the other hand ...

1. Chooses an uncommon topic when possible

2. Makes uncommon connections

3. Uses uncommon language

Here's an example of how to stand out with that same topic: "I want to be a doctor (common topic) because it connects to my core values of authenticity, social justice, and collaboration (uncommon connections), and I believe that art-making can be a kind of medicine (uncommon connection + uncommon language).

And here's an example of how to stand out even more: "The stickers on my laptop (uncommon topic) reveal my connection to authenticity, social justice, and collaboration (uncommon connections for stickers), all of which will serve me in my future as a doctor."

Important: I'm not saying you should pick a weird career or go slap some stickers on your laptop just because it will help you stand out more in your essay. But consider this: The more common your topic is ... the more uncommon your connections need to be if you want to stand out.

How to Generate Uncommon Connections

[action_item]

Action Item 1: Spend two minutes brainstorming the cliché version of your essay.

[action_item]

Action Item 2: Spend eight minutes brainstorming uncommon connections.

If you're writing about cooking, for example, push yourself beyond the common value of "health" and try to generate some more unexpected values. How has cooking taught you about accountability, for example, or social change?

FAQ: Is it "bad" to use common connections? It's not bad, per se. Common connections are just more likely to blend in, especially if you use common language.

If you're writing about your cultural identity, for example, it's okay to talk about your family, but what else has your cultural identity taught you? Surprise us. Or say it in a way we haven't heard before.

You'll know you've found a good one if you surprise yourself. So try this:

Right now, take a look at the Values List and see if you can find 3-5 uncommon connections ... in other words, values that someone might not immediately connect with your topic.

Write them down in the Montage Outline 2.0 section of your workbook.

Once you do this, you may find you need new examples and thus need to rewrite your paragraphs. That's fine! In fact, I'm going to encourage that in the next lesson.

[action_item]

Action Item 3: Brainstorm new examples for your new (now more uncommon!) connections/values.

Let's say you've realized that writing about "teamwork" for your soccer essay is probably going to be very common. You've had a realization that you could maybe demonstrate listening through soccer. But what example should you use? Ah! Maybe you could write about how there's an unspoken way of communicating on the field with your body that happens almost instantaneously ... that could be interesting. Then do this:

[action_item]

Action Item 4: Get as specific as you can with your example.

Rather than writing, "Listening is important in soccer" (we probably know that), tell me about how the tension increases exponentially in the seconds before a corner kick, and how everyone in the box braces, leaning on the opponent just enough to gain an advantage but not so much that you get called for a foul and how in those seconds if you aren't paying attention—that is, if you aren't listening with your entire body—and you do foul your opponent, you risk a penalty that could cost your team the game. See how specific that is?

This is going to be especially important if you can't think of many (or any) uncommon connections—you'll be more likely to stand out if you use uncommon language, which basically means saying it in a way we haven't heard before.