3.2 - 7 More Ideas for Starting Your Montage Essay
In this lesson, I’ll cover:
Four Bad Ideas for Openings
7 Better Ways to Start a Montage Essay
Time:
16 minutes
module content
I told you earlier not to worry about your opening, so that you could instead focus on the core of your essay. I hope you did that.
Now that you've got a better sense of what your content might be (or you've changed your topic altogether), I think it's a good time to start talking about the opening.
Wait, why are we only talking about openings now?
Students often get caught up trying to write The Perfect Opening. But for many, this can lead to wasted time since it can keep them from working on the rest of the essay to see if it can work. I've also often found that when students are revising their essays they end up brainstorming new content, as you've just been doing, the essay evolves, and—voila!—a new, better opening reveals itself. This kind of revelation can be tricky if students are too married to their first opening (just because they spent a lot of time on it) and unwilling to let it go. Hopefully, though, you didn't spend too much time on yours, or you're open to letting it go.
First, let's look at some ideas that don't work well.
4 BAD IDEAS FOR OPENINGS
1. The Overly Grand Ambiguous Statement. From a distance, it might seem nice to talk about why all of humankind has felt some type of way for as long as history has existed. (Examples: "Many great thinkers have existed in our nation's history," or "The key to a successful endeavor is perseverance.") But huge statements like these get lost easily in the crowd. Why? Frankly, they don't tell the reader much about you. And without a connection to you, the reader is likely to mentally hit fast-forward on your essay.
2. Going Meta. As cool as it may seem to show the reader that you're aware of how you're writing your essay in the moment you're writing it, it's less cool to college admissions officers who read meta-essays pretty often. There are other, more subtle ways to demonstrate self-awareness in your intro rather than to open your essay with some variation of, "I stare at the blank screen ..." or, worse, "When I was asked to write this personal statement, at first, I wasn't sure how to begin."
3. The Quotation. While quoting famous people who have said something cool in the past may seem like an appealing way to start your essay, remember that colleges want to hear your thoughts. Don't use the words of another person to stand in for your own opinions or insights. You have cool things to say. It may just take a little while to discover what those things are.
4. The Too-Obvious Thesis That Spoils the Ending of the Movie (i.e., Your Essay). What if Avengers: Infinity War had opened with a voiceover from the director saying, "This is a film about how Thanos collects all the infinity stones and destroys half the population." (Aaaaaand this is your too-late spoiler alert. Sorry. But don't worry, they go back in time and undo it in Avengers: Endgame. Oh ... sorry again.) That would've sucked. But that's what it feels like if you start your essay with something like, "I want to be a veterinarian because I care about animals and the environment." I read a sentence like that and go, "Oh, now I can save myself the three minutes it would've taken to read the essay. Thank you, next." While you may want to have that sentence in mind so you know what you're trying to get across (in the "Clarifying Your Topic" module, I called this a logline), just don't give away your ending. Instead, start your essay with something to pique our interest. How? Here are ...
7 BETTER WAYS TO START A MONTAGE ESSAY
1. The Hemingway
What it is: An image-based description, perhaps 1-3 sentences in length, that focuses on a particular moment and then follows up with a sentence that explains, comments on, or somehow provides context for what is being described.
Take a look at the values the author suggests in the bolded part below:
Every Saturday morning, I'd awaken to the smell of crushed garlic and piquant pepper. I would stumble into the kitchen to find my grandma squatting over a large silver bowl, mixing fat lips of fresh cabbages with garlic, salt, and red pepper. That was how the delectable Korean dish, kimchi, was born every weekend at my home.
Why it works: This single sentence hints at some of the author's core values—culture, ritual, family—without giving too much away about where the essay is headed. Like any good intro, this one creates more questions than answers.
2. The Twist
What it is: The author begins with information that creates certain expectations about them before taking us in a surprising direction.
Example:
Growing up, my world was basketball. My summers were spent between the two solid black lines. My skin was consistently tan in splotches and ridden with random scratches. My wardrobe consisted mainly of track shorts, Nike shoes, and tournament t-shirts. Gatorade and Fun Dip were my pre-game snacks. The cacophony of rowdy crowds, ref whistles, squeaky shoes, and scoreboard buzzers was a familiar sound. I was the team captain of almost every team I played on—familiar with the Xs and Os of plays, commander of the court, and the coach's right hand girl.
But that was only me on the surface.
Deep down I was an East-Asian influenced bibliophile and a Young Adult fiction writer.
Why it works: We're introduced to the author as a basketball superstar, the queen of the court, a sports fanatic—and at this point the reader may even be making assumptions about this author's identity based on her initial description of herself. However, in one sentence, the writer takes us in a completely unexpected direction. This plays with audience expectations and demonstrates that she has a good degree of self-awareness about the layers of her identity. After having our expectations thrown for a loop, we can't help but wonder about who exactly this person is.
3. The Philosophical Question
Ask a question that you won't (and probably can't) answer in your essay. This gives you a chance to show how your brilliant brain works, plus it keeps us hooked as you explore possible answers/solutions.
Example:
Does every life matter? Because it seems like certain lives matter more than others, especially when it comes to money.
To read the rest of this essay, click here.
Why it works: It raises an interesting question and poses a controversial idea: that some lives may matter more than others. We wonder: "Is that true? Could it be? Say more ..." Heads-up: This approach is not easy to pull off as it can veer into the "Overly Grand Ambiguous Statement" opening if you're not careful. How can you avoid this? By making sure that you a) follow up your question with lots of specifics in your essay, b) are certain that this is the question that should frame your essay and, perhaps most importantly, c) have plenty of time to refine over several drafts.
4. The Confession
How it works: Begin by admitting something you might be judged (or judge yourself) for.
Example:
I have been pooped on many times. I mean this in the most literal sense possible. I have been pooped on by pigeons and possums, house finches and hawks, egrets and eastern grays.
Why it works: Shows vulnerability, humor and maturity (she can laugh at herself), but also intrigues us to learn more.
5. The Trailer Thesis
What it is: A contextualizing 1-2-sentences (often at the end of the first paragraph) that ground the essay by giving us a sneak peek at what's to come in the essay—but that do not give away the ending.
Example (I've marked it in bold below at the end of the first paragraph):
Six years ago, a scrawny twelve year old kid took his first steps into Home Depot: the epitome of manliness. As he marched through the wood section, his eyes scrolled past the options. Red Oak? No, too ubiquitous. Pine? No, too banal. Mahogany? Perfect, it would nicely complement his walls. As days went on, the final product was almost ready. 91 degree angles had been perfected to 90. Drawer slides had been lubricated ten times over. Finally, the masterpiece was finished, and the little boy couldn't help but smile. A scrawny 12-year-old kid had become a scrawny 12-year-old man. This desk I sit at has not only seen me through the last six years, but its story and the story of the objects I keep on it provide a foundation for my future pursuits.
Why it works: As we read the first few sentences of this paragraph, we might wonder, "Where is this going?" But this sentence sets us at ease and—again, without giving too much away—gives us a sense of what's to come. We know that we're going to learn about the author and his future through the objects on his desk. Great! It also signals to the reader, "Don't worry, you're in good hands. I'm still aware of the task at hand."
6. The Fascinating Concept
How it works: begin with a concept that's unusual, paradoxical, and/or marked a turning point in your thinking. This is often followed up with context explaining where the concept came from and why the author is considering it.
Example:
Crayfish can turn their red blood cells into precursor neuronal cells, I read in shock. The scientific paper, published in Cell 2014, outlined the process where crayfish could regenerate lost eyestalks or olfactory (smell and odor) nerves with their blood—they could see and smell again! [...] This foray into crayfish was only the beginning of my interest in an evolving field—stem cell medicine.
Why it works: this opening signals to the reader that the author is: a) someone who has read quite a bit, b) curious, and c) knows, as I like to say, "some stuff about some stuff." In this case, she knows some science stuff. Next, she answers "so what" in a way that helps us understand why she has shared this fact with us.
Do you know some stuff about some stuff? If so, a little geeky language can help signal this to the reader. Don't overdo it, though, or it can seem showy.
FYI: I see this more often at the start of great supplemental essays than personal statements, as this can often lead to an essay that's more heady/intellectual and less vulnerable/personal. A variation on this that's a bit more personal is...
7. The Random Personal Fun Fact
How it works: begin with a strange fact about yourself to grab our attention. Then go on to say why it's meaningful.
Example:
I subscribe to what the New York Times dubs "the most welcomed piece of daily e-mail in cyberspace." Cat pictures? Kardashian updates? Nope: A Word A Day.
Why it works: It pulls us in by making us think, "Oh, that's cool!" and then wonder, "Okay, where is this going?"
Another example:
I have been pooped on many times. I mean this in the most literal sense possible. I have been pooped on by pigeons and possums, house finches and hawks, egrets and eastern grays.
next steps
[action_item]
Action Item: Pick one of the ideas I mentioned above and try it! Spend at least 7 minutes. More if you need it. You can do this in the Montage Outline 2.0 section of your workbook, if you like.
Once you’ve done this, click continue to move onto the next module.
continue