Module Content

By this point, you should have a simple outline that includes: 

1. A potential topic

2. 4-7 different examples for your topic

3. At least one value for each example

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, or just want to go back to the examples to refresh your memory, click here.

Assuming you have this, the next question is: What do you need to write a great first draft of a montage essay? I believe a first draft of a montage essay requires three things: 

1. A simple, clear opening

2. 4-7 paragraphs with examples and values

3. An ending

In a later lesson, I’ll walk you through what a great final draft requires. But first things first.

Step 1: Write a simple, clear opening.

Your goal with your first draft isn’t necessarily to blow our minds with the most clever opening ever. I say this because lots of students get stuck because they try to do just that. But actually, I think it’s best to figure out if the middle of the essay (i.e., the 4-7 paragraphs of examples and values) can work first. And how can we do that if we’re waiting for the perfect opening? 

So my advice is to remove the mental barrier of writing “the perfect opening” by writing a simple, clear opening that will serve as a placeholder. (Keep in mind you can always come back and edit this later once you know the essay topic as a whole can work.)

Here are some examples of clear openings for “Home” essays: 

• “I smell rubber mats, and I’m reminded of passion, respect, and motivation. I hear rap music blasting through speakers, and I know I’m in the weight room.”

• “Imagine a huge, dimmed auditorium and a 5’2” Saudi female alone onstage improvising to an Irish folk tune. Even though my heart is racing and I can’t see anyone in the audience, I transport the audience to somewhere they—and I—have never been and I am in my element.”

In both of the examples above the authors mentioned the place they feel at home—the weight room and onstage—relatively quickly. 

Alternatively, you could choose to begin by describing the place first and leave the reader in suspense for a bit. If you do this, though, it’s a pretty good idea to mention your topic relatively soon so we know where you’re taking us. One example of this is the “Home” essay you read earlier: 

As I enter the double doors, the smell of freshly rolled biscuits hits me almost instantly. I trace the fan blades as they swing above me, emitting a low, repetitive hum resembling a faint melody. After bringing our usual order, the “Tailgate Special,” to the table, my father begins discussing the recent performance of Apple stock with my mother, myself, and my older eleven year old sister. Bojangle’s, a Southern establishment well known for its fried chicken and reliable fast food, is my family’s Friday night restaurant, often accompanied by trips to Eva Perry, the nearby library. With one hand on my breaded chicken and another on Nancy Drew: Mystery of Crocodile Island, I can barely sit still as the thriller unfolds. They’re imprisoned! Reptiles! Not the enemy’s boat! As I delve into the narrative with a sip of sweet tea, I feel at home.

There are, of course, other ways to do this. For now, I want you to just begin simply.

So ask yourself now: What’s a straightforward way I can lead the reader into my topic for the purpose of this first draft? 

[action_item]

Action Item (2 min): Write a placeholder opening.

It could be as simple as, “For me, [name the place] is home.” And boom, we’re into the essay. Or describe the place and, by the end of the paragraph, let us know that’s where you’re in your element. Again, your goal isn’t to wow us (we’ll explore how to write a great opening in a future lesson)—right now your goal is to remove the obstacle of the opening so we can get into writing the examples.

[And, if you’re a perfectionist like me and want to remind yourself to come back and change the opening, you can put your placeholder opening in brackets, like this.]

Step 2: Bring your 4-7 examples to life.

This part is what my friend Mignon Fogarty (a.k.a. Grammar Girl) calls The Meaty Middle. It’s really the make-or-break part of your essay. If this part doesn’t work, consider brainstorming another topic. 

And remember: You can choose a single place (like the weight room) and connect it to 4-7 values. Or you can choose a variety of places you feel at home.

To illustrate how to do this, take a look back at the “Home” essay. The “homes” she listed and the values she associated with each one were:

• Bojangles’ restaurant → family

• Onstage choreographing Chinese dance → creativity, meticulousness, culture 

• In the lab → science, intellectual curiosity

• Governor’s School East → experimentation, adventure

For each of your examples, you’ll write down 2-3 details that might help illustrate the value or quality you want to show. Here’s how that author did it: 

• Bojangles’ restaurant → family

  1. Ex: “After bringing our usual order, the “Tailgate Special,” to the table, my father begins discussing the recent performance of Apple stock with my mother, myself, and my older eleven year old sister. Bojangle’s, a Southern establishment well known for its fried chicken and reliable fast food, is my family’s Friday night restaurant ...”

• Onstage choreographing Chinese dance → creativity, meticulousness, culture 

  1. Ex: “A glance at my notebook reveals a collection of worn pages covered with meticulously planned formations, counts, and movements. Through sharing videos of my performances with my relatives or discovering and choreographing the nuances of certain regional dances and their reflection on the region’s distinct culture, I deepen my relationship with my parents, heritage, and community.”

• In the lab → science, intellectual curiosity

  1. Ex: “Whether I am working under the fume hood with platinum nanoparticles, manipulating raw integration data, or spraying a thin platinum film over pieces of copper, it is in Lab 304 in Hudson Hall that I first feel the distinct sensation, and I’m home.”

• Governor’s School East → experimentation, adventure

  1. Ex: “Governor’s School breeds a culture of inclusivity and multidimensionality, and I am transformed from ‘girl who is hardworking’ or ‘science girl’ to someone who indulges in the sciences, debates about psychology and the economy, and loves to swing and salsa dance. As I form a slip knot and cast on, I’m at home.”

[action_item]

Action Item (10-15 min): Brainstorm 2-3 details for each example. 

This may take more than 10-15 minutes. If so, that’s okay. 

Here are two tips as you brainstorm your content: 

1. Use specific, visual examples to show your values.

Example: “I feel comfortable with my family” is vague. But note how specific details can bring an essay to life: “‘Yalla al akil jahiz!’ (Come on the food is ready!) my mother screams. The smell of shakshouka and foul (fool) with poached eggs draw me in as I sit at the table with my family, talking about our week, laughing and indulging in the fine Middle Eastern cuisine. I’ve grown up in Dubai, a city of towering buildings, large malls, and countless distractions. But these three hours mark our weekly brunch, a time where phones are put aside and our attention is on each other.” Note how the visual details help us to imagine a scene, and the final sentence points to the value that helps her feel at home in this environment: presence.

2. Can you provide a few examples instead of just one?

While it’s possible to use just one environment to show different sides of yourself, I’ve found over the years, it’s much easier to write about several different environments. Note, for example, how the “Home” essay you read is able to show more range than the “Weight Room” essay, simply because it takes to a wider range of locations, which makes it a bit easier to show different “islands of personality” for the author. So if possible, try brainstorming multiple “homes” first.

Step 3: Write an ending.

It doesn’t even have to be a good ending right now; it just has to end. Again, your goal on this first draft is not to write the most mind-blowing conclusion ever; you simply want to land the plane. Your ending could be as simple as, for example, [“Each of these experiences has shaped me into the person I am today.”] That’s super cheesy, so you’d for sure want to put that in brackets and edit it later, but it would get the job done and get you to the next step.