If you combined a robber baron, a classic fruit, and an extra “L,” and somehow ended up with a top 25 university with an especially strong engineering program, you’d obviously name it Carnegie Mellon.
Carnegie Mellon’s supplemental essay prompts can feel more wide open than those for many other schools, stymying some students at first, but also offering an opportunity for students to differentiate themselves from other applicants.
The below guide will help you move past initial roadblocks.
If you want to get a clearer sense of what Carnegie Mellon is looking for, you can explore an extensive, by-the-numbers look at its offerings, from enrollment and tuition statistics to student life and financial aid information on its Common Data Set. And for insights into how the university envisions itself and its role, and how it wants to grow and evolve, read its strategic plan. Reading through this will give you a strong idea of what CMU values—and may offer nuggets you can sprinkle into your essay.
What are the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essay prompts?
Prompt #1
Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study? (300 words)
Prompt #2
Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience?
(300 words)
Prompt #3
Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). (300 words)
How to Write Each Supplemental Essay Prompt for Carnegie Mellon University
How to Write the Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay #1
Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study? (300 words)
This is a standard “Why Major” prompt. For a larger guide to “Why Major” prompts, click here. Below is a condensed version.
One possible approach:
Think of this as a quick origin story.
Step #1: Imagine a mini-movie of the moments that led you to your interest and create a simple, bullet-point outline.
Step #2: Put your moments (aka the “scenes” of your mini-movie) in chronological order, as it’ll help you see how your interests developed. It also makes it easier to write transitions.
For CMU’s essay, try one scene per short paragraph.
Step #3: For CMU, you’ll likely want to include a specific thesis that explicitly states your central argument—in this case, what you want to study and why. This thesis can come at the beginning, middle, or end of your essay.
Once you have those pieces, you have a few structural options:
Opening:
A. A hook that thematically sets up where you’ll take us, and ideally shows an aspect of your intellect/personality. (If you do this, it can be stylistically effective to bookend—to end the essay by linking back to what you opened with.)
B. An initial moment that sparked your interest.
C. Your thesis.
Body:
The moments of your mini-movie, illustrating both the development of your interest and some of your core values.
Ending:
One option: Go narrower—perhaps link to specific aspects of CMU that will help you continue on your path toward a future goal.
Another option: Go wider—name the road you hope to follow ahead (for example, career path, organizations you’d like to work with, the greater value/implications of studying what you want to).
It’s important to note that, unlike at many schools, at CMU, it can be difficult to change majors (some departments don’t allow you to switch into their programs at all).
And last, a quick tip: Be sure this essay is consistent with your personal statement if you’ve mentioned aspects of your major/career there.
Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay Example #1
At heart, I’m both regulatory bureaucrat and capitalistic entrepreneur.
Coming from a small business-owning family, I’ve grown up finding ways to one-up the competition, from boosting website search ranking with unconventional SEO to negotiating with book suppliers to cut costs. After all, our rent depends on our profits.
However, I also hold enormous respect for regulation. I vividly remember seeing my second grade classmate Nelson sprawled on the asphalt in front of the Chinese school we attended, accidentally run over by his teacher. I later discovered that afterschool was unlicensed: no safety training, no inspections, nothing. Years later, when my mother opened her own afterschool business, I filed the licensing documents and installed government-mandated guardrails. Though burdensome, regulation is crucial.
The afterschool industry taught me the inseparability of business and policy, but also sparked my curiosity concerning how political economics can leverage that relationship for maximal social benefit. In my Democratic Party internship, I examined how to incentivize below-market-rate housing construction without reducing overall supply. At FBLA Nationals, I delivered a presentation on management practices to reduce oil spills, increasing profits while meeting environmental standards.
CMU strikes me as surprisingly similar to the afterschool industry: an environment where learning occurs through doing and where business and policy can be explored in tandem. I’m excited by the new Economics and Politics degree, which would allow me to take Tepper’s and Dietrich’s classes concurrently. I’d love to attend the Washington Semester Program, applying my education to policy at a greater scale than I am currently. And I’m intrigued by electives like Coffee and Capitalism, using my favorite drink as a microcosm of commerce and geopolitics.
Whether I become a leader in the afterschool industry or an elected official regulating it, I know CMU will enable this Capitalist Bureaucrat to catalyze purposeful impact.
— — —
Tips + Analysis:
Hook the reader. Notice how the first line performs a few functions here. First, it pulls us in and makes us curious what exactly they mean by this claim. Second, it shows some of the author’s personality, as there’s a slight wry humor to the juxtaposition (both in the self-effacing nature of referring to themselves as a bureaucrat, with its cultural connotations, and in the joining of two things that tend to be viewed as diametrically opposed). You’ll notice that the other example essays for this prompt hook us as well, giving us a quick sense of who the author is.
Show the development of your interest through moments that connect to core values. Each paragraph provides details that show both intellectual and emotional links to the student’s chosen field, and that link to their core values (community involvement, integrity, etc). And they do a nice job of increasing the degree of the student’s interest and involvement (e.g. internship, FBLA Nationals), illustrating their dedication. Bonus points here for raising the stakes by mentioning their family’s rent is in part dependent on their work.
A narrower ending—how CMU can help with the next steps. Above, the student has clearly thought about how CMU can help them on their path forward. (If you choose this option, be sure to avoid repetition with the next prompt.)
Below are three more sample essays.
Example #2:
How would our world change if we could print any image or text onto any surface with just a small portable printing device and a mobile app? Designing walls, tunnels, roads-- all these jobs would become effortless. To make my vision into reality, I created an Augmented Reality & Machine Learning app as well as a handheld printer prototype at Cornell's Computer Systems Lab last summer. My application harnesses the motion detection data and on-device deep neural networks to determine the surfaces surrounding the smartphone camera's view. Afterwards, the user can tap and drag an image on the camera screen of the smartphone to "prop up" an image onto any detected surface. Using the handheld printer, the user can print the virtually propped image onto the actual wall. I’ve grown more enthusiastic in my work every day because I’ve seen how innovative mobile apps can magically merge virtual objects into the real world for billions of smartphone users. The combination of data collection, analysis, and implementation of computer graphics and machine learning in my project has intensified my interest in Data Science.
From analyzing the refugee crisis in the Middle East to detecting tumors at an early stage, the benefits that three quintillion bytes of data every day can provide are endless. As a Statistics and Machine Learning student at CMU, I look forward to continuing my project with deep neural networks and mixed reality, as well as discovering other interdisciplinary applications. Courses such as Modern Regression and Statistical Computing will help me use scientific methods to draw meaningful insights from data.
As the unprecedented increase in scale and importance of data revolutionizes a multitude of industries, Carnegie Mellon’s groundbreaking Statistics & Machine Learning curriculum and research opportunities will support my ambition for making a genuine impact in the world.
— — —
Example #3:
When I was young, I drew planes almost everyday. Planes with three, four, or even eight turbines. Planes with multiple wings and two fuselages. My planes were impossible according to the laws of physics, but I tried to create them anyways.
In middle school, I became fascinated with building planes. After watching hundreds of hours of FliteTest on YouTube and building their kits, I was ready to create my own. My first idea started with a single wing. I drew up a 3’ 4” long wing on a sheet of foam board and, after drawing three more prototypes, I assembled it. Then, I wired the two servos and a single 2280kv Radial 2218 brushless motor. On its maiden flight, I threw it into the air and it went straight into the ground. Too much weight in the front, Kanishka. Back to the garage.
In high school, I became captivated with cars, more specifically hydrogen and electric cars. I created a Hydrogen Car team to compete in a hydrogen fuel cell endurance race. I learned how to make a fuel cell more efficient. Ambitious, I worked tirelessly to get to the world finals. I devised a way to use the motor’s thermal energy and convert it into electrical energy, making our car more efficient.
I am a creator. The laws of physics often hinder my creativity, but I keep trying to push the limits of what is possible.
In college, I hope to combine my research in hydrogen fuel cells and airplanes to design a new type of plane that isn’t electric or combustion based. I want to major in mechanical engineering to accomplish that. With a minor in AI, I’ll learn how to use neural networks to manage energy consumption in complex systems.
— — —
Example #4:
One question + two statements + three sounds = Success.
“Want to build a computer?”
“Pass me the screwdriver.”
“Configure the BIOS.”
*BEEEEP... ptung-ptung...*
That is how I built my first computer with my dad. I was 10.
Computers have been a part of my life from a young age, but it wasn’t until later that I began to realize the degree to which computers can be used to solve the world’s major problems. This past summer at the Beaver Works Summer Institute at MIT, we were asked to brainstorm a problem to solve. Because of my Keratoconus surgery and my knowledge that worldwide blindness is projected to expand exponentially by 2050, my goal is to create artificial sight for the heavily visually impaired. Currently, bionic eyes, which cost over $150,000, allow a person to see only bright flashes of light; I hope to create an affordable device that allows the blind to see as if they had natural 20/20 vision.
A fully functional artificial eye requires the melding of many different fields of knowledge, such as the ways in which neurological nerves interact with circuits, the precise robotics needed to install the functionality of a high-resolution camera into a small package, and the artificial intelligence required to understand the habits of a specific human being. I have begun to learn how to utilize artificial intelligence, and I know I will continue expanding my understanding of A.I. at the collegiate level by majoring in Computer Science.
Through my numerous difficulties with vision and my computer-centric upbringing as an engineer, I am determined to allow the blind to see again.
What problem in the world today can you solve?
Bionic eyes cost over $150,000.
I can make a difference.
*BEEEEP... ptung-ptung…*
One question + two statements + three sounds = [Student], Engineer
— — —
How to Write the Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay For Prompt #2
Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience? (300 words)
This is one of those prompts we find “nutritional,” in large part because we’ve had some students who, before this prompt, had never thought before about what exactly “a successful college experience” would look like.
A few key things here:
Spend some time really investigating this. Give yourself space to think expansively. You can think in terms of career if you like, but also take some time to explore aspects of personal growth: Who is the human being you want to become? Are there ways that CMU can help you further develop your values?
Treat some of this essay as a "Why us?"—what does CMU offer that helps you on your path to becoming the human you want to be? Get specific. Show its admissions counselors that you’ve done your research and have thought about why you and the school are a good fit.
You’ll again want something thesis-ish in the essay, though you can build toward it rather than leading with it.
Here’s a sample essay:
Example:
My mouse hovered above the "Publish Website" button. The event-management website I developed (Gsca.us), which serves thousands of users in the Indian-American nonprofit I belong to, was about to go live. Filled with anticipation, I looked up at the small team that helped me with the website: the 65-year-old Chairman of GSCA and the 21-year-old college student who helped design the banners and logo for the site. Collaborating with an array of people from all ages, backgrounds, and experiences runs through my years developing software, engaging with my community, and conducting research projects.
Therefore, at Carnegie Mellon, I look forward to learning in an environment conducive to group learning. The fact that the walls and windows of many buildings are whiteboards, and that students carry around markers to collaborate and share ideas is a learning method that I resonate with. The different perspectives I will gain through working in groups, and exploring interdisciplinary coursework will be invaluable towards my overall intellectual development.
Outside of the classroom, I'll contribute to the variety of Indian cultural events - including Holi, Diwali, and Garba - supported by CMU OM. As a GSCA volunteer for the past 6 years, as mentioned above, my experience anchoring large events that serve thousands of Asian Americans, developing websites and social media publications, and raising funds for natural disasters and underprivileged students means I'll be able to contribute to similar events at CMU. Also, I am excited to engage in the 1000plus Day of Service to positively impact the Pittsburgh area through community service events.
By participating in CMU OM and 1000plus Day of Service, I will ultimately learn more about my own culture and character while serving my campus and surrounding city. Additionally, studying interdisciplinary courses in a collaborative setting will culminate in my successful college experience.
— — —
Tips + Analysis
Hook the reader. Starting to notice a trend? As with the samples above, this essay dives in with a specific moment that gets us curious, and also immediately communicates aspects of identity and values (“serves thousands of users in the Indian-American nonprofit”).
Use details that connect to core values. For example, 65-year old Chairman, 21-year old college student → varied collaboration, community engagement, effective leadership.
Show how you want to grow, and how a successful college experience plays into that growth. Students carrying around markers → collaboration and intellectual development. Engagement with Indian cultural events → greater engagement with and understanding of their own culture.
Get specific about how Carnegie Mellon fits the college experience you’re looking for, but keep the focus on you. The “Why us?” elements of the essay above get nice and specific about CMU, but they are always linked back to what the student is looking for, and why they and CMU fit well together.
Below are three more sample essays.
Example #2:
I escape English class with excitement and anticipation, bolting towards the school cafeteria to begin organizing the ingredients.
Last year, I established Cooking on the Stove (COTS), a club where members could connect through common culinary interests. Through COTS, I discovered how to empower my classmates with a collective drive to experiment and test our creative recipes together.
In a different realm, at the American Society of Anesthesiologists conference, I presented my internship data science project to anesthesiologists from across the globe. Navigating through the convention center, I was entranced by the thousands of presentations and products transforming the medical field. When presenting next to other researchers at the conference, I felt part of a global movement to overcome medical problems of every variety.
Building connections like these will be an important goal for me in college. On a personal level, I hope to establish COTS at Carnegie Mellon, cooking together with other food fanatics. Off-campus, I’d participate in study abroad with CMU’s chapter of Global Medical Brigades, where I’d get to know the students I travel with and others across the world who share my interests.
On a professional level, my college circle would start with research. In particular, I hope to work with faculty in improving the quality and accessibility of healthcare solutions across the world. By working in the Disruptive Health Technology Institute, I will connect with renowned faculty to develop innovative healthcare technologies that will shape the future.
While strong academics set the stage for a good education, the true experience is defined by the network of people that I build along the way. In this network, growing individually becomes synonymous with growing together.
— — —
Example #3:
At heart, I’m an inventor. In college, I want to take project-based classes and research to apply my learning. At CMU, I’ll be able to conduct research regarding energy at the Wilton E. Scott Institute for Energy Innovation. With professors like Jay Apt working there, I hope to find a way to make thermoelectric plates flexible and work under fewer temperature constraints.
I also want to pursue interdisciplinary activities and courses related to cooking. Every fall, I experiment with different recipes to find the right balance between nutmeg and vanilla extract in my pumpkin pies. At CMU, I can learn more about the science behind spices in Special Topics in Culinary Mechanics class, a unique class that combines engineering and food. I want to understand what is happening to the tissues and cells when a piece of meat is soft versus when hard.
I am eager to continue racing and competing at a more advanced level. Racing allows me to learn through pouring hours to explore an idea and then implement it. The mistakes I make introduce me to new topics. I aspire to be the lead engineer of the CMU racing team. Here, I would challenge my engineers to use AI and sensors to find where energy is getting lost through excess heat or sound. By utilizing every bit of energy, we can reduce weight and increase power.
I enjoy creating tangible, innovative products and designs because they force me to go beyond the classroom. At CMU, I’ll use the Swartz Center for Entrepreneurship to be part of the VentureBridge Program. There, I’ll be able to avoid common startup mistakes, recognize an ideal audience and market, and build a successful product.
College, for me, is a chance to bring my ideas to life through research, racing, and creating.
— — —
Example #4:
I hope to help the blind to see. My ambitious goal requires an equally ambitious undergraduate learning plan. There will be milestones to meet and communities of learning to foster.
In addition to my goal of helping the blind, I also intend to develop an algorithm that can create a fully-functional program through speech, using code generation and natural language processing. The Small Undergraduate Research Grants program will help me take the initial steps toward succeeding. The ultimate goal of this system would be to enable a layperson to create professional-grade software just by stating the intent of a program in an English sentence, which would liberate incredible ideas. The types of problems people could solve would not be limited by money, networking, or education. Taking tangible steps toward achieving this goal is integral to my idea of a successful college experience.
I also look forward to joining a community of engineers. From a young age, I’ve worked with those around me to create, design, and innovate. At Carnegie Mellon, I will become involved in organizations such as the Computer and Data Science clubs and will continue to be active in the competition math community through the Math Club. In addition, I intend to pursue a joint major in Statistics and Machine Learning, and take a secondary major in Human-Computer Interactions. Through my clubs and classes, I will foster a community of engineers: they will help me advance my ideas, while I in turn help them nurture theirs.
I know my college experience will be successful when, through my coursework as a part of my major, and through my interactions with my community of engineers, I have taken steps towards achieving my milestone of creating a language-to-code translator as well as my ultimate goal of allowing the blind to see.
— — —
How to Write the Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay For Prompt #3
Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). (300 words)
Now we’re wide open. Having the option to write about anything can be both exciting and daunting—with the myriad elements that make up you, how do you narrow it down? If you’re feeling adrift, here are some options.
Before you start writing, take some time to zoom out and think about your application as a whole—between your main statement, your Activities List, your Additional Info section, and the above prompts, what parts of you is CMU seeing, and, importantly, is there anything they aren’t seeing that they maybe should be?
A couple ways to approach this:
A values scan—look through the elements of your application and think about what core values are being illustrated. Are there any of your core values that you’re leaving out?
The “Everything I Want Colleges to Know About Me” exercise (which is useful to have done for any of your applications, not just this CMU prompt).
We’d also recommend thinking about taking the Super Essay approach—are there supplements you’ve written for other schools that could fit nicely here, with modification as needed?
For example, many schools have essay prompts that ask about communities to which you belong, or Stanford has its “What is meaningful to you and why?” prompt. Those essays can frequently fit nicely with this CMU prompt as well.
Ultimately, think of this essay as a way to show another core aspect of how you’ve become who you are.
Example:
My room’s got all the necessities--bed, desk, closet, posters--but there’s another desk with a PC, a microphone, a cassette-player, and an assortment of gadgets decorated with knobs and displays. I’ve gradually put my recording studio together over the years--including building the computer from scratch and working jobs to buy sound equipment. In the process, I’ve grown so familiar with it, it’s become a sanctuary--a place where I don’t have to worry about grades, breakups, insecurities.
As for Fortaleza, Brazil--its homeness wasn’t so immediately apparent.
I once believed that despite learning English from the ground up and struggling with several Americanisms, my Brazilian identity was just a matter of geography. But returning to Fortaleza this year showed me the tethers I was blind to.
While browsing a crafts market, I met an elderly gentleman selling cordéis: booklets of long, narrative-driven lyrics musicians purchase and interpret. He told me he wrote them himself, and offered to play a song. And so, listening to this haunting, droning hymn, I looked through the various tales these authors had conceived… stories of Brazilian heroes, thieves, princesses. At that moment, I understood something—I’m not a musician for just any reason. This spirit of poetry, this faith in art and storytelling… it’s in my blood.
Even in my home studio in Washington, I feel an energy being channeled from Fortaleza, through my fingers, into the music. As sambista João Bosco puts it: “with so many leaving/on the rocket’s tail/our motherland wept/on the soil of Brazil.”
— — —
Tips + Analysis
Discovery and growth. One thing we like about this essay is that we see the writer go on a quick voyage of discovery. They experienced a moment of insight that has been key in their development. One nice way to approach this prompt is by thinking about insights that have been pivotal to your growth.
Tell them by also showing them. The prompt asks you to tell, not show, as in don’t give CMU a link to a website. But still show its admissions counselors you. You can do so through essence objects and details. Essence objects can help to infuse the essay with quick touchstones of character and values. For example, building the computer from scratch and working jobs to buy sound equipment show dedication and resourcefulness. The cordéis show us a sense of cultural value and identity.
The Super Essay approach. This essay was originally written for another school’s prompt regarding a community the student belonged to. With fairly few changes, it can work nicely for this CMU prompt as well.
Below are three more sample essays.
Example #2:
I recognize quoting Einstein is beyond cliché, but one of his musings was definitive for me: “if I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician.” I’ve always been unwaveringly passionate for music--but Einstein’s observation cemented my passion for astrophysics.
There’s an immediate connection between science and music--when recording, I often use graphical analysis to balance frequencies, trigonometry to determine microphone placement, and wave mechanics to gauge acoustics. But I think it goes deeper.
The Greeks believed creativity wasn’t creation--it was discovery. This implies art is indistinguishable from science, as both are deeply explorative; and it aptly fits the connection Einstein alluded to. Musicians speak of artistic trances--where inspiration seems to strike from the ether--and scientists speak of the proverbial apple falling on Newton’s head, of Archimedes’ “eureka!” I’ve realized these catharses are identical--chord progressions come to me just as intuitions for quantum phenomena do.
Despite this similarity, choosing between physics and music means sacrificing part of my identity. So does choosing between passions for Brazilian sociology, investigative journalism, and philosophy. But by the time I graduate college, I hope to feel educationally fulfilled, and fulfillment isn’t isolationist--apples fall on physicists’ heads, but they also fall on musicians’, sociologists’, and philosophers' heads.
So, I dream of pursuing these fields unbounded by requirements: studying sociology while receiving a formal music education and researching quantum gravity. Although I don’t know what my apple’s going to be, I know that pigeonholing myself will only lead me farther from the tree.
— — —
Example: #3
Every weekend I swim from a shark: kicking frantically, surrounded by ice cold ocean water, I am in survival mode. Except in reality I’m treading lightly as to not splash the fellow swimmers in a warm 10x7 meter pool while my five-year-old student, Marcus, follows closely. After he had several unsuccessful attempts at finding an instructor who met his level of energy, I was able to cater to his needs as an autistic child. So every lesson, humming the Jaws theme, I am proud of gaining his trust and engagement while teaching him a serious life-skill. My relationship with Marcus has propelled me forward in my role as a Water Safety Instructor.
When I was on the swim team, I never received more than a participation ribbon, but I won lifelong friends and support. So when I hung my own racesuit up to dry, I knew I wanted to help others join the community too. As soon as legally possible, I became a certified instructor and now spend my weekend mornings teaching. I have worked with first timers to competitive swimmers, three-year-olds to middle schoolers, parents buried on their phones to those practically jumping in the pool, and everyone in between. With each interaction, I have learned to trust my intuition and value compromise.
This community has taught me how to work with and support anyone, a skill I will carry for life. I have finally earned the gold medal for empowering new members of the swimming community.
— — —
Example #4:
The first session of “A Galaxy of Stars: Modern Data in Stellar Astrophysics” ended and our teacher handed out the first homework assignment, encouraging us to work together. Taking his advice to heart, an hour later fifteen students crammed into a hot dorm room and got to work.
We shot questions back and forth:
“Who understands how to use parallax measurements?”
“Did anyone else figure out the code for a stellar color-magnitude diagram?”
Everyone brought talents and unique perspectives to the challenge the homework presented, and before we knew it, the work was complete. So we got to talking, and the “astrogang” was formed. Sitting in this humid dorm room, I realized I had found my people. There was Maria who knew all about stars from her telescope, Luca the coding wiz, Noel who loved math more than anyone, and me, the go-to for physics. Everyone in the group was so engaged and excited about science and learning, just like me, and that was an experience I had never had before. Every day after that, we met up to work together, play ping pong under the sun, and scrimmage soccer down by the river. We debated politics, discussed astronomical theories, and compared cultures, each of us learning from what the others shared.
As the astrogang, I’m certain we would have expanded our research beyond the stars to encompass black holes or dark matter. But even now, scattered across the globe, we will always be the kid scientists who look to the sky for answers, and I hope that I will meet other students who will continue what the original astrogang began.
— — —
Special thanks to Andy for writing this post.
Andrew has worked as an educator, consultant, and curriculum writer for the past 15 years, and attended Stanford and Oxford, earning degrees in Political Science and Drama. He feels most at home on mountain tops.
Top Values: Insight/Growth | Truth | Integrity
