When you’re writing your college essay, it’s a great idea to get a clearer, more specific sense of your personal values. Those values are what show who you are as an individual–what drives you–and what makes you the unique person you are.
So first, if you haven’t already, make a list. You can use this 5-minute Values Exercise. It’s a key step to knowing what makes you tick–hum–act the way you do: things colleges want to know about you.
Set?
Now that you have the list, how do you weave those values into your essay? Ideally, you don’t want to just get listish with a common thesis statement such as “I value loyalty, persistence, and adventure.” You know you want to express something meaningful, but maybe your brain’s stalling on the how. You know you need to demonstrate those values with examples from your life, but maybe you don’t know what to say beyond, “This shows I have this value. Thanks–bye!”
In other words, you need insight on those values. You need to go meta on your life.
These 4 brainstorming exercises will help you get some good distance on yourself, give you some meta revelations, and get you thinking deeply about your life experiences–all while having a little fun, too.
You can try these exercises independently or find someone you trust–a teacher, friend, counselor, family member, classmate. See if your English teacher is open to using these activities in class.
But First: What is Insight?
Insight is the why of the what: not the details of your life themselves (though those are really important for your reader to understand you), but what those details taught you, how they shaped you, the reflection and commentary you provide as you present yourself to schools. This part of your writing is where you demonstrate your ability to reflect, show what makes you curious, and share what you’ve learned in life. The deeper you can make it, the better.
One way to gain insight on your values is to get some perspective: stepping back from your life and trying to see your values from someone else’s point of view.
Insight generally requires asking really good questions and being a bit of an investigative journalist about your life. These Why? queries might at first feel reminiscent of that insistent toddler you once were: Why is the sky blue? Why can't I take my stuffed animal? Why can’t I have more candy?
Only now you’re asking, Why do I value this part of my life? What do my activities, choices, challenges, and growth say about me and what I believe (and how I will thrive in college)?
In other words, insight is about finding your answers to the question So what? It’s about telling admission folks through your writing that you really do see the big picture, the Themes/Values of Your Life.
You know how your English teacher seems to be always asking for more specific themes and thesis statements? That applies here too: if you can write down some unique statements about what you value, then you’re on your way to understanding yourself more deeply. We don’t mean vague lists; we mean taking those big words like LOYALTY, PERSISTENCE, and ADVENTURE and turning them into very specific characterizations about yourself, lines like this one in a model essay we use here at CEG:
Deep down I was an East-Asian influenced bibliophile and a Young Adult fiction writer.
Maybe this student’s list-ish first draft went something like this?
I love books and writing, which means I value CURIOSITY, INTELLECT, EXPLORATION–and more!
Or, here's another essay that sounds super-polished and insightful, but trust us, this final draft didn't begin with this cool statement of Theme. It took a while to discover this insight:
Was I an animal in a past life and that's why I feel close to them? Do I just enjoy the prospect of unspoken understanding, interpreting the complex, and actually succeeding? For many reasons, my connection and experiences with these animals have been a major part of shaping who I am today.
Maybe the first draft was a bit simpler, maybe an outline like this:
Quail taught me PATIENCE, lambs taught me TRUST, seahorses taught me about SCIENCE, and birds taught me about INTUITION and COMMUNICATION.
You can tell these students took a step back from themselves to reach these conclusions. You can tell they have a fresh angle on parts of their lives and discovered unique values, not typical ones.
To read more awesome essays, go here.
To see other examples of insights concerning different values, go here.
To do the Values Exercise (if you didn’t above), go here.
Need a way to get some fresh angles going? Try these activities.
Exercise 1:
Host Your Own Values Podcast
Do you love podcasts or interviews? Do you have a skill, interest, AKA superpower, that you really love? This activity could be for you.
Independent Activity:
Pull out a journal or find another note-taking space and start jotting your answers to some of these questions.
Imagine you’ve been invited onto a podcast to talk about a niche interest or hobby you love.
Growing daffodils, doodling fae creatures, hiking steep inclines, crocheting baby blankets, baking the best cupcake, or collecting coins (that’s right, you’re a numismatist). Even though it’s all audio, no video, bring something tangible with you to this interview, a physical symbol of that interest or expertise. A flower, a doodle, a picture from a hike, a baby blanket, a cupcake liner, a coin. In other words, an Essence Object.
Write down 3 interview questions you want to be asked about this hobby or activity.
They could be how-to and why questions, allowing you to talk about the expertise you have and the joy you find in the specifics of your favorite thing. They can also be the 7 who-what-when-where-why-how questions, classic journalism questions.
Next, answer these questions for the podcaster:
What skills of mine does this activity show? For example, if you sell vintage coins on eBay, you might say, “I flex my business savvy when dealing with customers on eBay, knowing when to hold firm on certain prices and when to negotiate.” Or if you garden, you might say, “I know from all my reading and talking to other gardeners when and how to grow a healthy crop of calendula and how to create healing salves and medicinal tea.”
How does this activity showcase a skill I bring to other activities in my life? You might say, “I bring my business savvy to helping my mom at her food truck. When she’s dealing with a difficult or demanding customer, I give her ideas on how to respond.” Or, “I bring my research skills to my AP History class, where I wowed my teacher last month with my report on medieval medicine.”
Look at the values you brainstormed for the Values Exercise. What does this activity show that I value? About people, places, things? Feelings? How many different values does this hobby contain?
Bonus if you can pick less common values, ones that someone wouldn’t at first associate with your interest. Example: Being a numismatist means I need COURAGE and EMPATHY. Then connect those dots! “Though I get nervous before I put anything up for sale, wondering if buyers older than me will not trust my prices, I remind myself to be strong and that I’ve done my homework.” What about EMPATHY–can you make that connection for this numismatist?
Get really specific. What specific action, strategy, tip, move, approach of this interest or hobby shows your value in action?
For example, you might say, “My eBay business shows I love connecting with other numismatists and analyzing the values of different coins.” (Values: CONNECTION and ANALYSIS)
Answer any questions you brought to your interview.
Partner or group activity:
Share your hobby or interest with each other. Take turns interviewing each other.
Remember, no activity is too niche or too small!
Develop 2 questions that ask about the values this hobby exhibits, and ask the interviewee to explore less common connections.
If the interviewee can’t, then suggest to each other what skills, needs, and values you see in the other person’s interest. Give each other some perspective.
Now get writing
Write one paragraph of your essay where you connect the dots between the specific example of your activity to give insight about your expertise. Take the notes above and satisfy the journalist hovering over your shoulder, wanting to know how this activity shows certain kinds of values in your expertise, and why this expertise matters in other parts of your life. Show an admissions officer the types of skills, interests, and values you will be bringing to campus.
Exploring your superpower can lead to a great essay. Check out this student’s college essay on the skill or superpower of translating.
Worried that your interest is too niche, too odd, or too superficial? Unlikely. Check out how this student handled the subject of her love of makeup.
Exercise 2:
Review Your Favorite Show
Do you love a certain show? This activity could be for you.
Independent Activity:
Pull out a journal or find another note-taking space and start jotting your answers to some of these questions.
List your top five shows of all time.
Pick one moment and one person that’s memorable—whoever immediately comes to mind in your favorite show will work.
Make a list of values these characters have.
Do you relate to any particular person or situation? Craft an analogy. “I am so like — [insert character name] of — [show name] because we both value… [insert values]. Like the time when they…. And the time when I….” (Be sure to fill in these last blanks with very specific examples.)
What do you value about these shows? Do an analysis and get real specific.
Let’s say you love laughing. You value HUMOR, right? Now make a list of 5 reasons why you laugh. Then see if each connects to a different value than HUMOR. Maybe you love the element of SURPRISE. Maybe you love IRONY–how the opposite of what’s expected always seems to happen. Maybe you love physical comedy of one actor, which is their ATHLETICISM.
Or what if you’re fascinated in the same way that psychologists, anthropologists, social scientists, or philosophers are by human behavior? (You never know, you might study reality TV one day like Danielle J. Lindemann did.) What can you conclude about human behavior using one of these disciplines?
What’s another way–specific activity–you express this value in your life? Connect the dots between the favorite show and something else you do. Whoa. You just wrote a transition!
List all the shows you would drive or travel anywhere to audition for. Then explain why with a sentence that says,
“I’d audition for this show because I value….“
“One example proving that I value … is….”
Bonus: Come up with a show idea that is driven by one of your top 5 values from the Values Exercise. If you’re having fun, write the first lines of that awesome script and start taking auditions!
By the way, the goal is not to write your college essay about your favorite shows, but to use your favorite shows as a way to deepen your understanding of your values. Using a favorite show as the main topic of your essay is a really tough thing to pull off–not that it can’t be done!—but we don’t advise making that your first move.
Partner or Group Activity:
Name your favorite show for each other and interview each other using these questions:
What’s one favorite character and one favorite moment?
What values does the character seem to have?
Do you relate to any particular person or situation? Fill in the blanks: “I am so like [insert character name] of — [show name] because we both value… [insert values]. Like the time when they…. And the time when I….” (Be sure to fill in these last blanks with very specific examples.)
What’s another way–specific activity–you express this value in your life? Connect the dots between the favorite show and something else you do.
Would you audition for this show? Why or why not? What does that say about your values?
What idea do you have for a show driven by one of your top 5 values?
Prompt your partner(s) to say more about values, using personal examples from their lives to prove the value exists.
Jot down all the best ideas you share about yourself.
Now get writing
Write one paragraph of your essay where you connect the dots between a specific example of your favorite show to demonstrate insight about the values the show expresses and then also to your own life. Take the notes above and satisfy the psychologist, anthropologist, social scientist, or philosopher in you, wanting to know why this shows matters and how you exemplify the same value in things you do. Show an admissions officer that your intellect is always buzzing, making connections between even what seems like nothing but entertainment to the choices and activities of your daily life.
Exercise 3:
Pitch Your Own Docuseries
Do you love documentaries and biographies? This could be for you.
Biographies of famous folks have recurring themes as well as plot twists and turns. What you’re going to do is take your list of values and write some ideas, brainstorming about how your documentary or biography might look, if you had a few episodes or chapters, each focused on a value. Your goal is to experiment, dream, and imagine—not write an entire script.
Independent Activity:
Pull out a journal or find another note-taking space and start jotting your answers to some of these questions.
Follow these steps:
1. For each of your top 5 values, write down two or three events in your life that show how that value influenced the decisions you made.
For example: “Episode or Chapter 1: ADAPTABILITY.
“That time when I had to adjust to the fact that all my friends were trying out for varsity sports while I wanted to go into the arts instead. I made new friends in theater, one of whom is my best friend now.”
When my dad moved out, I started helping my mom with cooking, which is what my dad used to do, and learned how to make a great lasagna.”
Tell anecdotes from each moment, as if you were narrating.
2. End each anecdote with something like, “It was then I realized that—[name the value] was important in my life.”
For example: “When I became friends with Julia during our production of Into the Woods, she taught me how to really listen to your scene partner on stage. It was then I realized how adaptable you have to be on stage, just like I was adapting to the fact it was time to make new friends.”
For example: “When I became our family chef, I had to be flexible and learn new recipes. I even had to be patient and listen to my little sister’s annoying requests for hotdogs and other foods I don’t like to eat. It was then I realized the importance of adaptability in tough situations.”
3. Write down what a narrator, a la Morgan Freeman, who steps back to talk about you and your values in the third person, would say.
Tell us what this narrator says by having the person say things like (which you finish):
“You can see the value of ____________ in _________’s life when they chose to…”
“Note how __________ lives by the value of ___________ when they…”
In other words, What values does this more distant narrator see happening in your life? How is this narrator connecting the dots for you?
4. Now try writing a logline.
With movies and screenwriting, loglines are key to summing things up so writers, marketers, others can pitch and sell the story. In one to three sentences, you can explain the events of your life and the values that direct your choices. Look at how the word “sacrifice” is one of those value words in Infinity War’s logline:
“The Avengers and their allies must be willing to sacrifice all in an attempt to defeat the powerful Thanos before his blitz of devastation and ruin puts an end to the universe.”
How many values do you see there? What other key words signal values? Besides SACRIFICE, do you see hints of
FRIENDSHIP? ALLYSHIP??
POWER?
STRENGTH?
Check out one from a student who used their desk as the focusing topic: “This desk I sit at has not only seen me through the last six years, but its story and the story of the objects I keep on it provide a foundation for my future pursuits."
See what your logline leads you to see.
Partner or Group Activity:
Trade roles of documentary narrator and be sure to use values as your analytical lens, as your transitions, and as your summary.
Now get writing
Write one paragraph of your essay about a value, where you take the notes from your episode or chapter brainstorming and form them into a new draft of a paragraph. Make sure to include both the details of what happened and also the insight on the values you exemplified in this moment of your life.
Or, try starting the essay with a logline. The logline might not survive the next draft, but that’s okay: using this focusing pitch and summary of the entire essay is an important step to understanding what you’re trying to communicate about your values and your identity.
Exercise 4:
Make a Grand Statement:
“My Life Is/Is the Opposite of …” or “My Life is a Hybrid of…”
Do you thrive on opposites? Do you tend to resist things that follow a formula, style, or fashion? Do you like going against what’s popular or what’s trending?
Pick your favorite type, box, category, or trope and insist on your opposition to it. Or, declare yourself a new type by naming how you are a hybrid, a mashup, or a remix of different styles of music, art, games, sports, etc. Take your favorites and blend them.
Independent Activity:
Pull out a journal or find another note-taking space and start jotting your answers to some of the below questions.
Need some ideas? Answer these questions first: Describe your life story in contrast to these types of stories by finishing these sentences:.
My life is the opposite of a rom com because….
My life is the opposite of [insert band name or music genre] because…
My life is the opposite of a Disney movie because…
My life is the opposite of a sports documentary because…
My life is the opposite of a reality talent show because…
My life is the opposite of [insert movie title] because…
My life is the opposite of [insert game] because…
Now write a scene from your life, a moment of “opposite” to the category you defy. It doesn’t have to be a long story–it can be under 5 sentences–but it should have some convincing specifics. For example:
“My life is the opposite of a rom com because I have all the embarrassment and none of the romantic payoff. In other words, I am the kid who is full of unrequited love and then when I get a chance to talk to the person I crush on, I fall apart with nervousness, walk into lockers–and then nothing happens. There’s no neat wrap-up or happy ending.”
“My life is the opposite of a Disney movie because there is no sing-able soundtrack where everything rhymes. I see a lot of random in my life, a lot of coincidence, and a lot of surprises. There’s no clear evil and no clear good. There’s no fairy godmother or wise elder who shows up to give me advice.”
Then write a values observation. It goes like this, “The fact that my life is the opposite of…is evidence that I value…” For example:
“The fact that I see my life is the opposite of rom coms is evidence that I value SELF-AWARENESS and REALISM. I am not going to be that friend who pretends there’s going to be a prom-proposal for you or me. Instead, I will be the friend who says, ‘What else can we do on prom? Something cool? Because I’m not waiting around for a date.’”
“The fact that I see my life is the opposite of a Disney movie is evidence that I value surprises. I am a person who is quite flexible. I am the person you come to if you want to talk about gray, not black and white. I am Mr. Nuance.” (SURPRISE, FLEXIBILITY, NUANCE)
Partner or Group Activity:
Take turns sharing your Grand Statements, then share your reactions as a listener.
Focus on what intrigued you, and ask clarifying questions.
These can be as simple as, “Tell me more about…” so that your partner shares some good examples.
Take turns asking each other to fill in the blanks: “The fact that I see my life as opposite of ….is evidence that I value ….”
Now get writing
Take the notes above and make one of them a paragraph in your essay. Connect the dots between other parts of your essay and this insight into your opposite quality. Are you showing how you’re diverse or unique in other ways, elsewhere? Then make that connection.
Wrap-Up
Are you ready to take your essay topic meta? Do you have some ideas now on how to get some distance on your life, show some insight, and better frame your values?
That’s the goal here: getting perspective, getting the big picture, and figuring out your answers to So What?
Written by Lyn Fairchild Hawks, founder of Success Story essay consulting. Lyn is a graduate of Stanford University and the Vermont College of Fine Arts program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. She loves helping students tell cinematic, insightful stories. She is also the author of young adult novels, short stories, and books for educators, including lessons for teaching Shakespeare. For 15 years she designed and ran online programs for gifted youth at Duke University and prior to that, served as a high school and middle school English teacher. She lives in Chapel Hill, NC.
