Managing expectations pre-acceptances

One great thing parents/guardians can do in this process is help your teen learn to manage emotions and expectations, particularly when it comes to acceptances.

We say this especially because we have friends who have said they felt as though they supported their children well through the application process, but managed this particular point… not so well. And that had a large, and to some degree avoidable, impact on their children’s experience.

Social norms and values around perceptions of college (as in, thinking where you go is who you’ll be) can be problematic if not downright unhealthy (because where you go is definitely not who you’ll be). Because their society in general and maybe their peers specifically mistakenly create a link between things like where one goes to college and one’s value as a person, it can be easy for students to be powerfully emotionally affected by their acceptances and denials.

Helping them remember that they’re good humans who will live good lives by making good choices, regardless of where they go to college, is huge. 

After acceptances: breaking down factors to consider when choosing a college

This is a highly personalized process, but here are some things for students/families to keep in mind:

• How much and what kind of financial aid are they being offered?

• How does that impact the level of debt they’ll graduate with? (Particularly if they want to pursue a degree in a field that has lower average pay—we don’t think degrees should be thought of purely in terms of financial value, but debt level can have a significant impact on quality of life.)

• Is class size important, and if so, which schools offer the most opportunity for small, intimate classes/discussions in a student’s major/academic areas of interest?

• How important is personal interaction with professors, and how much does this vary between schools?

• Do different schools offer different options for community and sense of belonging?

• What different support systems (such as mental health or academic support) are important?

• Are there certain extracurriculars students want access to (like club sports, group outdoors activities, LGBTQ+ community, etc.)?

• Do they prefer a big campus vs. a small campus, or vice-versa? To be rural or near a big city? Cold weather vs. warmer climates?

• What kind of internship or co-op experiences are available, either on campus or in the nearby community?

• What are the schools’ relative post-graduation placement rates?

• What kind of networking opportunities, both in school and after, are available? How available/robust is the school’s alumni network in terms of pre- and post-graduate support for mentoring and job placement/connections?

• Are things like D1 sports important (in terms of quality of life)?